I’m back! Last week I was wrestling with sickness. Nothing major, just a cold turned into a sinus infection. I still have the nasty cough and I have had it all weekend. Still, somehow I decided to go to a retreat. I am apart of a retreat team based out of my church and honestly it is the best decision for my faith I have ever made. Today on the blog I will be sharing part one of my faith journey. Part one will consist of everything up to the moment when I decided I will choose God.
So, I am what people call a cradle Catholic, meaning that I was born, bred, and raised to be Catholic. This doesn’t mean that I chose God way back on the day of my birth or at five years old, but it is a great frame for me to build on. Rewind to little me. I was baptized. I was always at mass. My maternal grandparents were the most Catholic people I knew and would always make sure my mom took me to mass on Sunday. When I entered first grade, I started going to Sunday School. I was really great at school so it was just another way for me to excel. I didn’t. I was awful at Sunday School. I know. How can a child be bad a Sunday School? I don’t know, but I was. My heart wasn’t in it. I made my First Holy Communion aka the sacrament of Holy Eucharist in third grade. Still haven’t chosen God by this time. Around this time it was made clear that my parents were getting a divorce. It was official by the time fifth grade started. It sucked, but I knew it was the best thing for my family. Only, I didn’t know I would only see my dad about a half-dozen times before I would basically never see him again. I can count on my fingers how many times I have seen my dad since the last time he dropped me off at my house. None of those times is on my birthday or graduation or at Confirmation.
In ninth grade, there I was, back in Sunday School only this time it was called Confirmation class. Okay? So, you’re telling me I have to go to mass every Saturday night and then come back on Sunday? I was like what?! Are you kidding? I did it anyway because I was never a rebellious, I don’t wanna listen to my mom type of kid. This lasted three years. It became just something I should do and I began to feel a little more accepting of it. Still haven’t chosen God. I cared about Him but I hadn’t chosen to give my life to Him. Confirmation class lasted three years. In the last half of my last year, my eyes were opened. I went to this three day retreat put on by the team I am now apart of. I was excited about it because I thought of retreats as an excuse to dance silly to some fun music. Wow. I was wrong. I ended up hearing testimony from people only slightly older than me as to how great God’s love is. The way he loved like a father for those who, like me, did not have a great relationship with their Earthly father. I wanted that. I asked for that at adoration later the same day. What I received was unexplainable. It still kind of is.
I felt a love in my heart that I had never felt before. From anyone. I knew it was God saying “come.” So, I did. There is no explaining every detail that lead me to this decision because in all honesty I don’t know them. It is controlled by God and I am glad I have the opportunity to share my story on a platform like this and through service to maybe lead someone else to want a relationship with Christ. If this is you, “come.”